Up, up and away......

Well, I finally got round to it: booking my flight in a hot air balloon, that is. "What on Earth are you wittering on about, Sog" you say. Well a group of my kind relatives clubbed together and bought me a balloon flight as a fiftieth birthday present. I half suspected that they might do something like this because they had been canvassing my opinion on parachute jumps and the like at an earlier family gathering. Fortunately, my less than enthusiastic reaction to the latter convinced them that I was a fully paid up member of the CCS---the Coward's Club of Scotland.

I instantly thought that the balloon flight was a great idea with numerous photographic possibilities. However it was only when Wosog rejected the idea of buying an extra ticket so she could get into the basket with me that I started to wonder if my yellow streak might prove an obstacle again. Anyway, I've put that thought behind me and booked a flight from Perth on Saturday 19th August.

I don't know if I've mentioned the fact that Wosog has a wicked sense of humour? I'm sure it's a total coincidence that as part of my 50th birthday present from her she gave me a book by Ian McEwan called "Enduring Love". Part of the complex plot involves a GP falling to his death from a hot air balloon.

Funny, that!

Tas Mania 2

When we heard Gdog was going to Tasmania, we thought we would give her the opportunity to demonstrate her deep knowledge of that far off land by mentioning the tasmanian devil. "That's some sort of plant, isn't it?" said Gdog. I didn't think this was likely in view of the cartoon character based on the creature!

Well, Gdog here is what the tasmanian devil "plant" sounds like, and here's a bit of info about them.

Sometimes I wonder if we should let her walk through Glasgow on her own far less travel to the other side of the planet! Anyway I'm sure she'll be fine (typing slowly due to crossed fingers).

Tas Mania

I don't know if I mentioned it, but Gdog's going on a wee trip to Australia next month. She's going there as a student volunteer. The organisation involved, International Student Volunteers, Inc., has projects in various parts of the world. Gdog has known for a while that she is going to Oz, but she only found out this week (a) which part of Australia she is going to, and (b) what exactly she will be doing there.

It turns out she is going for 2 weeks to the Long Point Wetlands Rehabilitation Project in Tasmania, which is run by the the Tasmanian Land Conservancy. One thing we hadn't thought about until very recently, following a conversation with my cousin in Melbourne, is the fact that Gdog is visiting Oz during their Winter. Here is the advice she has been given about the weather she can expect:

"The daytime temperatures will range between approx. 10° to 18° C (50° - 65° F) although may be as cold as - 5° C (23° F) overnight outside. Weather conditions vary in winter, however rain and windy weather can be expected on some days, so please ensure that you are adequately prepared for cold, wet and windy weather. Please note also that wet clothes may not dry overnight, so at least two sets of clothes to work in should be brought unless you don'’t mind putting on wet clothes in the chilly morning!"

This is not exactly the picture I would have had in mind previously when I thought of Australia!

Gdog's main task at the project will be removing gorse, which sounds like somewhat harder physical work than she is used to. She will be getting up at 07.30 and clearing gorse from 09.00 to 15.30. I suspect the accomodation will also be somewhat more basic than she is used to! Some folk, on hearing that she is going to Tasmania to clear gorse have made the point that Scotland has quite a lot of gorse that she could have cleared if she wanted to, at much less expense!

Gdog, however, assures us that she is looking forward to the challenge, but I think she is really looking forward to the two week holiday that follows the volunteer work.

Call me a cynic, if you like......

A Weekend in Old Reekie

If anyone is reading this and is mystified by the title, Old Reekie is Edinburgh, the capital of Bonnie Scotland. Although I only live about an hour's drive from Edinburgh, I've only been in the city about half a dozen times. Because we had made arrangements to meet friends there on Saturday evening we decided to make a weekend of it.

We heard from one of our friends that the weather had been foggy and cold on the Friday, but on Saturday the sun was "splitting the sky". The grass in Princes Street Gardens was covered with eager sun-worshippers when we arrived about 13.00. We spent the afternoon wandering around Edinburgh Castle photographing everything in sight.

In the evening we had some excellent Mexican Food then went to the Jam House, which is part-owned by Jools Holland. The music was good and we had a great night that finished around 01.00. We were glad that we had booked a hotel 5 minutes walk away (at great expense).

The next morning we took some more photographs, including several of the Scottish Parliament. I was quite impressed with the controversial building, although I am still very aware of how expensive the project was and disappointed with the continuing problems that the building seems to have.

All in all it wasn't exactly a relaxing weekend, but well worth while. I'll maybe not leave it so long before I visit Old Reekie again!

A Close Shave

Shaving is a pain: not literally, usually, but metaphorically. Some day, when I've got a bit of time on my hands, I'll work out the number of hours of my life I've spent doing it so I can drop the figure into the conversation when there is a lull at a very dull dinner party. Still, if a job's worth doing it's worth doing well, as the saying goes.

The market for Razor Blades for wet shaving in the UK is dominated by Gillette. Wilkinson Sword and Biro Bic Razors have a much smaller market share. Over the years the male adult population has watched with some bemusement as the number of blades apparently required to perform the task has risen from 1 to 2 to 3, and even to 4! The corresponding rise in the price of these hi tech little items has meant that special security precautions directed towards them have been necessary in supermarkets! Some nerd has even extrapolated forward to conclude that we'll expect a 14-bladed razor in 2100!

Recently Gillette seems to have decided that the delicate art of shaving only needs 3 blades but the movement of these can't be entrusted to the the average hand alone. An electric motor is also required to achieve "the best a man can get".

If shaving really is as complicated as this I think I'll grow a beard!

A phone is a phone is a phone

I've never been able to get excited about mobile phones. I concede they are quite handy things for making telephone calls on, although even performing this function I often feel my phone makes me too available. The other things that modern phones can do leave me totally unimpressed. I hate text messaging and as for taking pictures with a phone----that's what cameras are for! Obviously, certain enterprising individuals have made millions from providing ringtones for people to download: what is that all about? Even thought the current technological marvels now play a reasonably musical version, why would I want my calls to be signaled by the latest "pop classic"?

The young folk are, of course different. For them it is essential that their every thought is packaged in a text message and distributed to their friends immediately. They have to have the latest phone, which is, of course, music to the ears of the likes of The Carphone Warehouse. Gsog, for example, has had numerous phones. His current one seems perfectly serviceable to me, but only the other day he was muttering about getting yet another one. Gdog has had 3 different phones in the year that she has stayed in our flat in Glasgow.

Anyway, I think I've finally found the ultimate phone for them. Only one small problem: they'll have to get an awful lot of overtime at Tesco to pay for it. The price tag is, after all, $1 million!

I don't want to go to Chelsea....

We all have our interests, and one of my minor obsessions is garden gnomes. Some time ago I started a group in Flickr called "Home for Gnomes"”. Like many desert plants, Home for Gnomes seems to thrive on neglect, and with very little attention from me it has grown to over 90 members, a testimony I would argue to the global appeal of these little creatures.

With this in mind, you can imagine how horrified I was this morning listening to the "“Today"” programme on BBC Radio 4. This had a piece on the Royal Horticultural Society'’s Chelsea Flower Show making the point that one of the things banned from gardens at Chelsea is my beloved garden gnomes! One of their "roving reporters" was featured "smuggling"” a gnome into the show and seeing what the reaction to him was. There was a great feeling of tension during the piece as listeners no doubt feared that RHS "heavies" would burst onto the scene and eject our heroic reporter and friend. There followed an interview featuring the Garden Master of New College Oxford who represented the RHS and its role in "“policing the line"” over which nasty, kitsch creatures like gnomes would not be allowed to cross. The highlight of the interview was the point at which he was asked if fairies were banned too. He spontaneously uttered that "If you banned fairies you'’d have to ban half the garden designers!"”

Anyway, I like gnomes----so there!

I'm not dead yet....

Sorry things have been a bit quiet round here recently. I am going to try getting back into the habit of posting regularly, but I really don't know how "super bloggers" like Gordon McLean keep it up!

On the subject of Gordon McLean, I noticed in his "Overflow" section this amazingly funny "Father Ted Obsenity Report". I'm not sure exactly how it was produced.

Under the headline "Understatement of the week" The Sunday Times today had the following story: "A heavy metal fan has survived being hit from behind by a train. Jesse Maggrach, 20, was walking along tracks in Alberta, Canada, listening to music through ear phones. Describing the impact, he recalled: 'Holy crap, dude, you just got hit by a train.'" Personally, I think "Stating the obvious" would have been a more apt headline.

A Week in New York City 8

On our last full day in NYC we visted Lower Manhattan. Our first port of call was the Brooklyn Bridge. This is an amazing structure, although it looks a bit rusty and in need of a fresh coat of paint. The weather was great again, and the bridge provided a fabulous viewpoint. Unfortunately, we didn't have time to walk all the way across.

Close to the bridge is the Ground Zero site where the World Trade Center used to be. Saint Paul's Chapel, near the site, had this poster which captured the mood for me. Ground Zero is actually quite difficult to photograph as the area is almost completely fenced off. I managed to find one decent vantage point. It's almost as if The Powers That Be don't want people to be reminded of what happpened. There are grand plans to build the Freedom Tower on the site, but I believe the project is mired in controversy.

After lunch we decided to walk back from Battery Park along the side of the Hudson River. This area used to be the point where a busy throughput of ships tied up and disgorged their contents. Many of the piers have now been taken down and all that remains is a collection of stumps. Other piers have been converted into various things including pleasant areas to walk, and even a golf centre with a huge driving range. The project is called Hudson River Park and it will be a wonderful facility when it's completed.

A Week in New York City 7

The first thing we did on our 5th day in New York (Sunday) was to go back to B&H Photo Video and Pro Audio to try and buy my lens. We arrived to find that the shop didn't open until 10 am, and we were a little early so we sat in a deli across the road and had a cup of unpleasantly sweet coffee. Just before 10 am a bus load, literally, of traditionally dressed orthodox Jewish men arrived and poured into the shop----we thought we had walked into a Woody Allen film! The Saturday closing phenomenon was, thus, explained. B&H is said to be the biggest shop of its kind (in the world, I think). It doesn't exactly have an overfriendly atmosphere, but it's run very efficiently: and it had my lens for the price in dollars I'd have had to pay in pounds at home.

The weather on the Sunday was glorious and we spent most of the rest of the day in Central Park. We passed the Dakota Building with an impressive flunky standing outside on the way to Strawberry Fields. The cherry trees were in bloom, and the park looked spectacular. The variety of activities of people there was quite impressive: running, cycling, skating, rollerskate dancing, hockey, lacrosse etc. etc. It really made Wosog and I feel quite guilty that we were just walking and taking pictures (well not really!).

In the evening, after another excellent meal, we went back up the Empire State Building to take some night pictures including the one I've shown here.

A Week In New York City 6

Our 4th day in NYC was a bit of a disaster. The weather was cold and wet. I had decided to go to a shop called B&H Photo Video and Pro Audio on 33rd Street try and buy a 50mm f1.8 lens, as I had heard that I could get it cheaper in the US than here. My rationale for going on a Saturday was that it would definitely be open on that day whereas it might be shut on the Sunday. Wosog was feeling a bit tired at that stage in the holiday. We walked from the hotel to the shop in the miserable rain to find that the shop was closed all day on a Saturday. "Funny!" we thought----well that wasn't exactly what we thought. We didn't find out the explanation till the following day.

We went from there to the International Center of Photography, which was quite interesting, but much smaller than we had expected. We then went back to the hotel and spent the afternoon "power napping".

A Week In New York City 5

Day 3 in the Big Brother House...I mean our third day in NYC involved a cruise down the Hudson past Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty, capturing them for posterity as we went. We then continued under the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges part of the way up the East River. Eventually we looped round and came back to where we started. It was not the nicest of days, but apart from the obvious sites it gave us the chance to see where Nicole Kidman has a $4 million apartment.

In the afternoon we visited the Guggenheim Museum. Wosog and I have a bit of an aversion to a lot of "modern art", but we got a ticket to this museum as part of our CityPass, and we did want to see the iconic building designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. In fact, the icon is shrouded in boards just now so that the building can be renovated---which was a bit of a bummer! In contrast to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Guggenheim only allows you to take pictures in the "entrance hall". We have decided that this is to avoid anyone with half a brain and elementary welding skills copying the brilliant works of art. We found the staff of the Guggenheim unfriendly, and our fellow visitors seemed to take the exhibits, and their pretentious descriptions, so seriously that we had to leave before we had a fit of the giggles. We decided not to use our "free" ticket to the Museum of Modern Art.

We walked back from the Guggenheim down Fifth Avenue so that Wosog could taunt me about visiting various designer shops.

A Week In New York City 4

Our second full day in NYC started with the obligatory visit to the Empire State Building. Fortunately, we went early enough not to have to queue for too long. Views from the 86th floor were breath-taking, and I got a good picture of the Chrysler Building as well as a much hazier view of the Statue of Liberty---but as you can see it is quite a distance away!

In the afternoon we went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art for one of our periodic doses of culture. The museum has a really informal atmosphere and they actually allow you to take pictures, as long as you don't use flash. We left having "stolen" a nice little collection of paintings by Rembrandt, Picasso, Degas and Modigliani. Unfortunately, I don't think my versions will quite achieve the value of the originals!

In the late afternoon we got half price tickets for the Mel Brookes musical "The Producers" in the ticket centre in Times Square. Although I'm not normally a great fan of musicals, I really enjoyed the performance, which was performed extremely professionally.

A Week In New York City 3

Most of our first full day in NYC was spent in the American Museum of Natural History. When we booked the holiday we had bought a CityPass that included a ticket for this museum, but I'd definitely have wanted to go there anyway. I've been fascinated by dinosaurs since childhood and AMNH has a fine collection, two of which meet you in the entrance hall.

Another impressive exhibit is the life-size model of a blue whale that practically occupies a very large room on its own! The display shown here is the Biodiversity Wall that illustrates the variety of lifeforms on the planet.

Part of the AMNH is The Rose Center for Earth and Space. It's devoted to geology and astronomy, and includes an amazing planetarium. There they are currently showing "Cosmic Collisions" which depicts various simulated events including the meteorite collision that is thought to have polished off the dinosaurs.

On the way back to our hotel we had a look at Central Park for the first time: but more of that later.

A Week in New York City 2

Shortly after we settled into our miniscule room we set out to explore Times Square, which was essentially on our doorstep. The New Yorkers are a bit sniffy about Times Square, but I liked it. I get the impression that the square was previously a bit seedy, but it has now been renovated, or some would say sanitised. To me it epitomises what New York is all about: it's brash and "in your face", like it or lump it! From Bubba Gump, which is a bit like TFI Friday, we looked out onto the display of signs that now rivals Las Vegas.

Shops in Times Square include a Toys R Us with a 60 foot Ferris Wheel, a life-size moving T rex, and a life-size Barbie House, although life-size Barbie didn't seem to be home. There are also large Lego models of The Empire State Building, The Chrysler Building and The Statue of Liberty. Strangely enough, they didn't seem to sell kits for any of these! You can buy theatre tickets in the centre in Times Square on the day of the performance for as much as 50% off.

There's always something going on in the square and it's especially busy when the after-theatre audiences pour onto the streets. Day time surprises include the Naked Cowboy, if you are into that sort of thing.

A Week in New York City 1

Well here I am back in the dull, uneventful UK having spent 7 days in "The City That Never Sleeps". Unfortunately, due to jiggling of my biorhythms I temporarily became The Scotsman That Never Sleeps, so getting back to blogging has not been a priority.

We thought that we had a direct flight from Dublin to NYC, but it soon became apparent that there was a stop-over in Shannon. The flight to Shannon was virtually empty: it felt like flying in a private jet, and fair set us up for the multiple stretched limos of Manhattan (none of which we traveled in). The only benefit of this arrangement was that we had the unfettered joy of interrogation by US Immigration in Shannon rather than NYC.

We arrived in New York mid-afternoon, and took the airport shuttle to our hotel near Times Square. The Hotel 41 in, you guessed it, 41st Street is the most expensive hotel we have ever stayed in. Our room also had the dubious distinction of being the smallest hotel room we have ever stayed in. You could not swing a mouse, far less a cat, in this room! The bottom of the safe had carpet on it----I'm sure so that they could include that area in the floor space calculation. We later heard that having 8 inches on one side of your double bed and about 18 inches, much of which was occupied by the air conditioning unit, on the other was fairly standard for Manhattan, even in hotels more expensive than the 41.

The hotel was, however, ideally situated for the exploration of The Big Apple----more of which later.

Bye For Now

Off to NYC today. Back in a week's time, hopefully not too many pounds heavier than I am just now. I hope both my readers behave themselves when I'm away.

Final Preparations

Wosog and I are starting to make our final preparations for our expedition to the New World aka New York City on Tuesday. This is the concluding part of the saga know as Sog's Fiftieth Birthday Celebrations (soon to be released as a major film starring George Clooney as Sog and Nicole Kidman as Wosog).

We're usually quite organised at this stage when we go on "city breaks": we've not only bought a couple of guide books, we've got an approximate list in our heads of the things we'd like to do and/ or see when we get there. The problem this time is that there are so many things to do and see in NYC that the list is a fairly nebulous affair! Fortunately, we're staying a full week, so hopefully we'll be able to "do" The Big Apple, if a little less efficiently than we've "done" other cities.

Never having been to The States before, I'm not sure what the experience will be like. One thing is certain, unless the weather is dreadful for the week we will bring back hundreds (literally) of photos.

Another certainty is that posts on this blog will be non-existent for about a week, but bearing in mind my recent rate of publishing, dear reader, you probably won't notice much difference!

Just In Case You Were Wondering?

Had a great week or so following my birthday. Enjoyed a nice family meal at home on the day itself in which Gdog and Gsog actually spent some of their valuable time with their long-suffering parents. On the Friday went out for a nice meal at a restaurant in Glasgow with other family members. The sole aim of this, of course, was to shame them all into buying me a present----and it worked beautifully.

"Swag" included lots of nice tokens for shops that sell books, CDs and DVDs. I also got a bottle of wine and this excellent little Headliners XL statue of The Great Man. Several of my kind relatives clubbed together to buy me a ride in a hot air balloon that I can take anytime between now and October----I should have produced enough hot air by then!

Wosog had already given me DVDs of all the well known Marx Brothers movies and my children gave me a DVD of The Constant Gardener and Corinne Bailey Rae's CD, which I really like. Wosog gave me a garden gnome called Gordon. I have been asked to point out that she bought me "that big fancy camera" for my birthday, but gave it to me before Christmas. My brother-in-law Bilosog sent me a very nice case of vino. If I've forgotten anything here I do apologise, but thanks to everyone anyway!

I only told the staff in the geriatric ward where I work part-time about my birthday after the event. On Monday I went into my small office to find it festooned with balloons and banners. There was a bottle of wine on the desk and an individual birthday cake. I was later presented with another garden ornament in the form of Doc the Dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

All in all, a pretty good week!

Over The Hill

Well here it is: the day of my fiftieth birthday. It seems only the other day that I was 49! As you can see, Wosog was, as usual, completely prepared for the occasion. Well that's not quite true: she had planned to get some hair dye and hair restorer to add to the full set of dentures and Zimmer frame that she jokingly bought for my fortieth birthday (Ha, bloody Ha!).

I keep telling myself that age is a state of mind, but if this is the state of my body at fifty, what state is my mind in? Anyway, as you can see I am very pleased to be fifty----you should see me when I'm miserable!

A Great Honour

Guess what? I have just been made an admin of the Flickr Group Flickr Weirdies of the World: a Supreme Weirdie, no less. This is, indeed, a great honour and, unlike my Fellowship of the Royal College of Physicians, doesn't carry with it a hefty annual fee. It all started with my realisation at the weekend that Wosog had suddenly been made a Supreme Weirdie.

This shift in our social standing relative to each other began to send shock waves through our previously relatively stable relationship. Wosog wasn't sure that she could continue to share a bed with a mere Weirdie Supreme (an ordinary member of the group), and was suggesting that I should start walking 2 paces behind her when we were in public. Fortunately, the other Supreme Weirdies took swift and decisive action to elevate me too. Wosog is still smarting a little at having got one up on me for such a short time, but I think she knows that the decision is for the best in the long term.

To celebrate this Great Happening I thought I would post this link to the Muppet Matrix brought to my attention by KnowWonNose of Seattle, Founding Supreme Weirdie and reknowned muppetologist----enjoy!

No Mice Were Harmed...

I think this little video clip is quite clever. Even though the commentary is in French (and well beyond my knowledge of the language), it doesn't detract from the terrible things that appear to be done to the hapless mouse in the name of science.

What do you think?

Buddy, Can You Spare A Dime?

I’ve always tended to avoid debt. I’m not much of a risk-taker. With this in mind, I was interested to read this Times Online article about The USA’s National Debt. Apparently, Congress has agreed to allow the Government to borrow another $781 billion (£447 billion), increasing the national debt limit — the maximum America can borrow — from $8 trillion and $184 billion to $8 trillion and $961 billion.

This is quite a lot of dosh:

• Enough to buy Buckingham Palace 9000 times (as if you would want to)


• Enough to give every person on the planet $1500.00 (a fortune to many, small change to some)


• Enough to build 28 solid gold Eiffel Towers (another pointless exercise)


• Enough to solve the Palestinian crisis by rehousing every Israeli and Palestinian family in a £1.5m detached house in Henley-on-Thames (Interesting, but they’d probably still bicker over the relative sizes of their swimming pools etc).

Anyway, what do you think would be the best use of $9 trillion?

Intimations Of Mortality

I know you won't believe it, but yours truly is 50 (yes, fifty) in 4 days time! I didn't seem to be bothered about it until quite recently , unlike my 40th birthday which plunged me into the slough of despond for months. It's when you find yourself attracted to web pages like this one that you realise that you are getting a bit morose.

I'm afraid I become almost impossible to live with when my mood turns in this direction. I'd just like to put Wosog's name down for canonisation now if I may!

Your favourite transformer?

Some of you may remember the advert on televison a while ago for the Citroen C4 in which the car appeared to change into a disco dancing transformer robot. Video clips like this tend to spread like wildfire on the Internet these days, and often spawn slightly less impressive spoof versions.

In this case, however, the geeks have gone further and produced a real dancing transformer robot. Looks as if it is made out of Meccano to me, and it doesn't have quite the sense of rhythm of the Citroen C4 version. I suppose we should really be impressed that it can dance at all, but I'm afraid it doesn't fill me with enthusiasm! What do you think?

PS My friend RobotJam has since pointed me in the direction of this transformer, which I think is the best. There's something a bit creepy about it, though!

Nothing's Too Much Trouble?

To return to the subject of being able to buy anything over the Internet, it seems that you can buy nothing as well (thanks to Stevekin for the link)! I believe the tartan paint is very popular where I come from, but unfortunately they don't seem to have the procrastinators' friend the round tuit.

Was It Something We Said?

Gdog is going to Australia for 4 weeks in July. She's taking part in a project organised by International Student Volunteers, Inc. As far as I can gather, she'll be involved in a conservation project for 2 weeks then have a nice wee holiday for the other 2 weeks. She's, understandably, very excited about the whole thing.

Wosog, on the other hand, has already started worrying about what might happen to her little girl not just on the other side of the planet, but during the journey there. This is not helped by the fact that Gdog will be leaving just before we get back to Scotland from our summer holiday in Greece. More joys of parenthood, right enough!

Animal Magnetism

I firmly believe that you can buy anything over the Internet, if only you know where to look. Those searching for straightforward things like cameras, iPods and computers probably need look no further than Amazon or Dabs.com. DVDs and CDs can often be found on CD Wow. For more obscure things, especially if you don't mind second-hand, I suspect eBay is the place, although I've never actually searched the site, believe it or not. However, if I ever have the sudden urge to try and source a rarity like, say, fluff from Elvis Presley's natal cleft (look it up), eBay is probably where I would start (after a Google search, of course). On the dodgier side, I'm sure if you know where to look, tissue type-matched kidneys are out there somewhere!

Specialty sites are a boon to those with strange interests: take United Nuclear for example (Supplier of the Most Powerful Magnets on Earth). The warnings on the site make ownership of neodymium magnets look as exciting and potentially hazardous as ice climbing or bungee jumping. The question that occurs to me, though, is "Who buys these things?". Having said that, the supermagnets do sound like fun, if somewhat pricey. They can apparently affect every computer in a room, and may cause loose magnetic objects in the room to fly towards them: just like in the cartoons! Handling 2 supermagnets at one time sounds like a job for, well, Superman!

I've got a birthday coming up next month, so if I come out some morning and find the postman pinned between a parcel and my car I'll know that Wosog has been reading the blog again!

That Kloskowski Beat?

I'm sure most of you never look at the carefully crafted sidebar attached to this blog. You're too intent on find out what subject that demented Scottish bloke is ranting on about today. Well, a few of you may have spotted the insight into my catholic musical tastes that the little Last.fm thingy gives.

This clever little device spies on my iTunes and gives you my latest "top ten". Favourites this week include Joni Mitchell, The Killers, Beyonce, and---at number four--Kloskowski. "Who?" you say. "Is this some obscure eastern European rock band?" Well no, it's actually none other than Matt Kloskowski who's a Photoshop guru and podcaster. I have heard he plays a mean ukulele too, though!

"Sorry" Seems To Be The Hardest Word....

It's so hard to say sorry sometimes isn't it? It can be difficult to find exactly the right combination of words to convey the sorrow that you feel. Never fear, the Web is here in the form of this excellent Apology Note Generator. That link is actually to the men's version, but don't worry girls there's one for you too.

I suspect this handy site has saved many a marriage. How could a wife's anger fail to crumble in the face of a note such as this:

Subject:"I truly apologize..."

Dear, Darlin',

I humbly ask for your forgiveness for neglecting to put my dishes in the dishwasher.
I was on my knees worshipping your shrine, and thought it could wait.

So I'm super tense, hoping you don't banish me to the couch for a month. Please let me live.
Forget about the money you owe me, and we'll call it even.


Love,
Your loving husband,

Sog.

What Would Albert Have Said?

My good Flickr friend in Canada, Cap'n Canuck, pointed me in the direction of this site where you can take this famous picture of Einstein and substitute the text of your choice.

I always thought Einstein was a lovely little guy, but if you look at some of the examples, he apparently wrote some really quite offensive things.

Bad Albert, Bad!

Blogger's Block

I know I've been a bad blogger recently: not posting nearly often enough. I'll try to perform better, but meantime here's a handy link via Bifurcated Rivets.

Joyful at Jongleurs

As part of my campaign to have a social life a tenth the size of Gdog's, I went with Wosog to Jongleurs Comedy Club in Glasgow last night. I booked the tickets over the internet, and I had no idea how big the club was inside, or where we would be sitting in relation to the stage. In fact we were quite some distance from the stage, but we could still see it reasonably well. The good sound system ensured that we could make out the comedians' jokes most of the time.

As with most of these things, the show seemed to take ages to get underway, but this gave Wosog and I, who were a bit older than three quarters of the audience, a chance to do some "people watching". It was fascinating to watch girls in their teens chain smoking, and consuming enough alcohol to render me semi-conscious, with no apparent effect on them!

The first guy up was Dominic Woodward. He got the show off to a good start, although from reviews such as this on the web he obviously tells a similar set of jokes every time (maybe they all do). Second on was Tony Hendriks, a Jamaican comedian who was really funny. A female Scottish comedian started up the second half. We were later told that she was usually a warm-up act, and she certainly seemed a bit inexperienced. The show finished with Paul Tonkinson, who Wosog had seen on tv before. He managed to control the audience most of the time, although he almost seemed to lose control when he strayed onto the subject of The Rangers v Celtic football match. We thought a minor riot was going to break out at that point!

All in all, it was an enjoyable evening. I think we'll both be back some time.

Happy Birthday Flickr

My favourite website bar none is two years old today. Many people were concerned that when Yahoo! took over the "magic" of Flickr would ebb away, but as far as I can see the site goes from strength to strength.

As well as providing a huge stimulus to my interest in photography, Flickr has allowed me to make contact with many interesting, like-minded people literally all over the planet. Even if you're not too interested in photography, it's well worth checking out.

Munich

Went with Gdog to see Steven Spielberg's film "Munich" about the Black September attack on the Israeli Olympic Team in 1972, and its aftermath. I was 16 years old at that time, and I do remember the news footage of the masked figures on the concrete balconies of the Olympic Village. A few days before, I had seen a television documentary about the operation organised by Mossad to kill the individuals responsible and, assuming that the documentary was more historically accurate, the film took some quite significant liberties for dramatic effect!

One of the most important of these was the suggestion that the team responsible had previously had no experience of killing people. The documentary stated that the team were crack Mossad operatives recruited from organisations equivalent to our SAS. Certainly the impression that these guys were total rookies created a lot of dramatic tension in the film, and gave a reason why the Eric Bana character should be so angst-ridden, especially towards the end. This feature aside, I think the first part of the film is reasonably accurate, but as far as I can see the second half was much more loosely "based on a true story".

Overall, I though the film was excellent and even though it was quite long the time didn't seem to drag. The message that violent revenge is a futile exercise is certainly no less true today than it was then!

Snow what?

Drifting aimlessly through cyberspace yesterday I came across this list of innuit words for snow. I wasn't totally convinced of its veracity, however.

I think things look reasonable enough until you get to the word for "fried snow" then "deep fried snow" (surely a Scottish delicacy). "Snow burgers" called MacTla has a definite hint of "sampling the yellow snow".

One of my favourites is Ertla ( the mind boggles), and another is huantla (anything is possible with teenagers). I also love the idea of selling snow to tourists: this part of the list could well be genuine, for all I know.

All in all, this is the most entertaining thing I've read about snow in a while--perhaps ever!

Dangerous Liaisons?

I see that having sex before stressful events reduces the stress experienced (at least as measured by the blood pressure response). You have to have full sex though---what we doctors call penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI)---for it to work. "Do-it-yourself jobs" and other forms of furtive fumbling don't have the same effect.

We've got another Practice visit to do with our quality targets, and I've got my annual appraisal coming up in March. I wonder if Wosog can fit me in (to coin a phrase) before then?

No stone left unturned...

According to the Sunday Times, William Shatner has sold his kidney stone to an online casino for $25,000 (£14,000). The stone was responsible for an episode of severe renal colic that Shatner experienced last autumn. In fact, Mr Shatner's website states that he was given $75,000 for the fascinating object.

The casino will apparently add it to its collection of unsual items that includes a toasted cheese sandwich with an image of the Virgin Mary. Shatner is planning to give the money to charity.

This definitely proves, beyond doubt, that our current World is far weirder than any planet Bill visited as Captain of the USS Enterprise!

He's a lumberjack, and he's OK?

I was interested to read in the Sunday Times today about Croatian lumberjack Stjepan Lizacic. It seems that Mr Lizacic is not entirely happy with the results of the transplant of a female kidney that he has received, and he is planning to sue his local health authority.

Since the transplant he claims to have "developed a strong passion for ironing, sewing, washing dishes, sorting clothes in wardrobes, and even knitting." He has also given up his heavy drinking sessions, and his wife is said to be delighted.

I believe Wosog has already made enquires about how my name can be added to the Transplant List....

More Thoughts On Ikea

Regular readers will know that Ikea is not my favourite shop. Some time ago I had to visit there a lot, but recently I've managed to avoid it. However, the other day I came across the startling statistic that "1 in 10 Europeans is allegedly conceived in an Ikea bed"!

Last year 33 million people visited one of their stores, of which there are 179 in 23 countries. Ikea is the MacDonalds of the furniture world. It's like a virulent cancer metastasising around Europe. However, as you can see from this BBC article, some people have been brainwashed into believing that they actually enjoy shopping there!

The Best Laid Schemes....

One of the things I really hate about being a grown-up is having to plan for the future. The other day I finally got round to having a meeting with a financial advisor to discuss various anxiety-provoking subjects like “If you were to die would Wosog, Gdog and Gsog have enough to live on?”; “If you were to be permanently unable to work would Wosog, Gdog, Gsog and (oh yes) you have enough to live on?”; “Are you putting enough into your pension?” etc., etc. I was a nervous wreck at the end of it.

The future is a serious subject that has generated a lot of humorous quotations over the years. These include: “The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive.” (John Sladek); “Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.” (Neils Bohr); and “The future will be better tomorrow. (Dan Quayle). Apparently there is an old Jewish proverb that goes something like “There is nothing that God finds funnier than listening to humans make plans for the future.” Personally, especially with Burns Night approaching, I think the Bard put it best: “The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men, Gang aft agley, An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain, For promis’d joy!”.

One of the things I really hate about being the parent of teenagers is having to plan for their future too: since they seem to find doing it themselves “too much of an effort”. But that, as the say, is another story!

Obscure Facts 1

Today Canon celebrates the production of its 30 millionth EF lens. It is less than 20 years since the launch of the EOS System, and it is a mark of the increasing popularity of SLR photography that 10 million of these lenses have been produced in the last 5 years.

Hell Hath No Fury....

Any husband will tell you that it is always a bad idea to let a woman down, but I think this story (via Bifurcated Rivets) really takes the biscuit!

It seems that a depressed woman asked a friend to hire a hitman to murder her for £20,000. He eventually offered to do the job himself, and when he failed to kill her she successsfully filed a complaint for breach of contract!

You just can't get the staff these days can you?

A Short History....

Unlike Wosog, I think I have only read one of Bill Bryson's books before: "Notes from a Small Island", as I recall. At Christmas I was given, by my niece Nosog and her partner Michael, the illustrated version of "A Short History of Nearly Everything". This is a weighty tome with 624 pages, and it is beautifully illustrated. I instantly liked the look of the book, but I thought it would end up being what some would call, a "coffee table book" from which I'd read little snatches from time to time. However, it's so well written that I've started reading it from cover to cover. I've reached page 140 so far.

There have been a few famous scientists who have been good at communicating science to "the masses": the book that springs to mind is Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time", which has sold 9 million copies since 2002. As a reader with a fair scientific background, I wasn't sure what Mr Bryson could teach me much on the subject, but I was wrong: Bill explains scientific concepts very well. What is most interesting about the book, however, is how interesting he makes the scientists!

How else would I have found out, for example, that Isaac Newton once stuck a needle into his eye socket just to see what would happen? Where else would I have discovered that Henry Cavendish was so painfully shy that even his housekeeper communicated with him by letter! My latest discoveries are (a) that, despite her 2 Nobel Prizes, Marie Curie was never elected to the Academy of Sciences because she had a scandalous affair with a married physicist, and (b) that Mme Curie's papers from the 1890s are still too radioactive to be handled safely without protective clothing!

Stranger than fiction indeed: you must read this book!

Political Animals

Hasn't it been fascinating watching the squirming machinations of the Liberal Democrat Party in the run-up to the resignation of Charles Kennedy from their leadership. I, and many others, had always thought of the Lib-Dems as "The Nice Party" full of lovely, reasonable people with sensible, inoffensive policies that seemed so attractive in opposition, but which many felt would prove totally unworkable in the unlikely event that they ever became the party in power. One thing was sure, we thought, these pleasant people would never "kick a guy when he was down" in the manner that the Tories savaged Margaret Thatcher (the first politician I cared enough about to despise).

Well we were wrong: the Lib-Dems can be just as nasty as any of the rest, but wasn't it funny watching them try to retain the "moral high ground"? I see from the Wikipedia article that Charles, who graduated from the University of Glasgow the same year as I did, intends to stay in the party, and that there is already press speculation that he may return to the leadership of the Lib-Dems at some stage!

Really, who would want to lead this bunch of hypocritical non-entities?

Overcoming Disability

On the television news this evening there was a piece about a girl who had been a very talented motocross rider until an accident fractured her spine and paralysed her. She has continued to participate in motocross training new riders, but it looked as if her participation in sport was over. Against all the odds she has now started riding off-road in a specially adapted quad bike. If the authorities agree that she is able to take part in races, she will be fully "back in the saddle again". Personally, I think she is totally crazy, but you really can't help admiring her success in overcoming her disability.

I can't remember where I came across this video clip about this guy from India who was born not only with no arms, but unable to hear or speak. Despite these disabilities, he has learned how to do practically everything with his feet and hopes to take up a career in IT championing the needs of others with disabilities. He's also an impressive dancer!

The success of folk like this really should make able-bodied people ashamed of themselves when they whinge about this "problem" or that. It is truly amazing what human beings can achieve with sufficient determination.

King Kong

Went with Gdog to see King Kong. Neither Wosog nor Gsog wanted to go, and Gdog had work that day so we ended up going to the 8.00 pm showing of the film. Since it famously lasts 3 hours, we didn't get out of the cinema until 11.30 pm, but it was well worth it.

The special effects are simply amazing, and were the main reason that I wanted to see the movie in the cinema initially rather than on DVD. The story was fairly basic, but I thought the acting performances were good with Naomi Watts a great choice for the heroine, Ann Darrow. King Kong himself is fabulous---producing a sympathetic character without stooping to too much anthropomorphism.

I presume Peter Jackson and co will be in line for some more Oscars here? It seems like another film I'll eventually add to my DVD collection.