Luxor Temple

Luxor Temple
Originally uploaded by Son of Groucho.

On our first day in Luxor we also visited the Luxor Temple. We had already seen evidence of the ego of Ramesses II (Ramesses the Great) at Karnak where the picture attached to the last post shows his inscriptions carved deep into the columns to avoid any chance of obliteration by future rulers.

In front of the Great Pylon of Luxor Temple (shown here) there is a single obelisk that used to be one of a pair. Visitors to Paris may have seen the second obelisk from Luxor in the Place de la Concorde.

Three lines of vertical inscription on every face of the remaining obelisk repeat the names and titles of Ramesses II: Mighty Bull; Exalter of Thebes; Favourite of the Two Goddesses, establishing monuments in Luxor for his father Amun, who placed him upon the throne; Golden Horus, seeking excellent things for him who fashioned him; King of Upper and Lower Egypt. Amazingly, but typical of Ramesses, when the second obelisk was lowered in order to be transported to France, the Pharaoh's name was also found inscribed on the bottom!

This guy had an ego that would make Donald Trump look like a shrinking violet.

Karnak

Ramesses Makes His Mark
Originally uploaded by Son of Groucho.

I'm not going to bore you all/ both with every detail of our holiday in Egypt, but there were certain highlights that I thought I should record. The first ancient site that we visited while the boat was still moored in Luxor was the Temple Complex at Karnak. Karnak consists of many temples built over 1,300 years and the site occupies 200 acres! Needless to say, we didn't manage to see everything, but highlights included the huge statue of Ramesses II (Ramesses the Great), and the Great Hypostyle Hall that was built by his father, Seti I and was completed by Ramesses (shown here).

Other things at Karnak included the tallest obelisk in Egypt erected by the only female Egyptian Pharaoh, Hatshepsut, whose mummy was only very recently identified.

We were fortunate to have a fantastic guide for the trip called Amro Mounir, who also lectured at the Cairo Museum. The visit to Karnak was a superb introduction to Egypt and egyptology.

Back in Blighty

Just got home today after a fabulous holiday in Egypt. Still recovering from the shock of going from the 5 star Sheraton Hotel in Soma Bay to the Travelodge at Gatwick Airport. We were so knackered from the journey that the most uncomfortable bed in the known universe didn't seem so bad.

Highlight of our Travelodge visit was the shower that gave you a choice of cold or perishing temperature then refused to shut off afterwards! Wosog thought I was just being useless as usual, but she had no more success with the bloody thing than I did. The maintenance man assured us that replacement of the showers was part of a forthcoming refurbishment program. Call me sceptical if you like...

I still think Travelodges are reasonable value for money and often conveniently located.

I suppose you get (or in this case don't get) what you pay for!

Ricky Gervais' Simpsons Episode

Heading off today for London. Flying to Egypt tomorrow. Can't think what to write about, so here's a clip from the episode of The Simpsons written by Ricky Gervais featuring a song that is truly awful---but in a good way.

Back (all too) soon!

Oh The Irony!

I recently mentioned that Wosog and I were going to Egypt, but I was slightly concerned about the risk of a terrorist attack there. We are due to fly to London tomorrow from Glasgow Airport so we can catch a flight to Luxor from Gatwick the next day. Many of you will already know that on Saturday there was a terrorist attack on the very terminal that we were due to check in at tomorrow. Subsequently, a bomb was found, and destroyed in a controlled explosion, in the car park of the hospital to which a severely burned terrorist from the airport attack had been taken. It seems that Egypt may be a safer place to be than Scotland at present!

I used to work at the hospital mentioned and I can imagine the damage that a bomb exploded by terrorists in the car park might do. Fortunately there were no innocent victims of the outrage at the airport. Personally, I would have great difficulty bringing myself to treat someone who had carried out one of these attacks.

There is no "cause", no grievance so great, that it justifies detonating a bomb next to innocent men, women and children.

If a thing ain't broke...

I've been a bit quiet on the blogging front for the last few days, mainly because British Telecom has been doing its best to screw up my internet connection. I have been quite happy with the service that they have provided up till now, but for months they have been badgering me to get something called a BT Home Hub. This is a trendy white box that doesn't just act as a router-modem, it also has an internet phone attached and gives you access to lots of other wonderful "services" (or so they say). I had resisted their approaches because I thought there was a potential for creating problems where none currently existed. Last week I finally gave in and agreed to "upgrade" my system.

The trendy white box with its dinky white internet phone arrived on Thursday. The documentation was comprehensive, but I phoned up to check that I didn't need to uninstall my existing hardware before connecting up my wonderful new hub. I was told by a nice lady that this was not necessary. I unplugged a perfectly functioning old system and plugged in the new system to find that it detected no broadband service at all. Despite, literally, hours on the phone to the helpline, and numerous bizarre manoeuvres the f---ing device is still not working. We even had it sitting between 6 pm last night and 6 am today supposedly updating itself. This involved all of the lights on the front of the thing flashing in an extremely irritating way. At 6.05 am I finally pulled the plug on the annoying little piece of junk, reconnected my low tech old broadband router modem and, fortunately, resumed flawless surfing.

The extremely polite, pathologically cheerful BT technician is due to phone me (from India, I suspect) at 4.30 pm today to see how things have gone.

In my extremely impolite, pathologically morose way, I'll be telling him, in fairly detailed anatomical terms, where he can stuff his BT Home Hub.

The Joys of the British Housing Market

The housing market in the UK is barking mad. I am so glad I am not a first time buyer these days. With talk of pig sties in the Cotswolds selling for ridiculous fees, I thought the worst excesses of the market were restricted to England.

Prices in St Andrews in Scotland have been rising fairly steeply in the last few years, but this article about the sale of public toilets there shows that things are getting distinctly out of hand. The guide price was £50,000, but the "property" actually sold for almost £200,000! It apparently has three doors onto the street and was described by the sellers as "being in need of extensive renovation.".

You don't say....

You Make Me Feel Like Dancing!

I've got a confession to make: I have absolutely no natural rhythm. I can never decide if I don't like dancing because I'm crap at it, or if I'm crap at dancing because I don't like it. At school we had ballroom dancing lessons given by the physical education (PE) department. I used to hate PE, so dancing seemed a slightly more pleasant alternative. I still had horrendous difficulty remembering the steps, and always ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time, sometimes dancing with the wrong partner.

Nowadays the only dancing I ever seem to be called to do is disco dancing, or at least my version of disco dancing. This consists of frantic shuffling from one foot to another. I do try and do it in time with the music, but sometimes it doesn't seem to work out that way. Occasionally, seemingly at random, I do a little 360 degree twirl to add a bit of variety. At the end of the day, I've got, to coin a phrase, "two left feet".

This is all the more embarrassing when you notice the dancing prowess of the guy in the video who has, you will notice, no left foot.

I'm not that bothered though, and I certainly won't be having an amputation to see if it improves my technique!

Impressive, but mercifully short...

I've posted before about my lack of enthusiasm for the accordion as a musical instrument. However, even I have to admit that this guy is good.

A Minor Disappointment....

Wosog and I are shortly going on holiday to Egypt. My dear wife has been interested in the history of ancient Egypt for many years, and we both look forward to the photographic opportunities it presents. I must confess I do have two concerns about visiting the country: firstly, the unlikely, but distinctly life-threatening, risk of terrorist attack, and secondly the much more likely, but slightly less life-threatening, risk of gastroenteritis. A worryingly large proportion of the people I know who have been to Egypt seem to mention diarrhoea as a feature of their holiday, and I have been given extensive advice on steps to take to avoid "the runs". Anyway, hopefully nobody will decide to shoot at us, and we won't have to spend too much time inspecting the local plumbing system. I suppose if we are stricken, it might be a good way of losing a bit of weight!

The first week of our holiday involves a cruise down the Nile from Luxor to Aswan. The Smart Alec in me was looking forward to being able to say that I had cruised down the longest river in the World (though admittedly not its full length). Imagine my disappointment, therefore, to find that a group of meddlesome geographers in South America claim to have proven recently that the Amazon is, in fact, longer than the Nile? According to these killjoys, the Amazon is 6,800km (4,250 miles) long, while the Nile is a mere 6,695km.

I'm not sure if it's my feeling of minor disappointment that makes me ask the question "Who funds an expedition to provide information as pointless as this?".

My Wordie!

My Wordie!
Originally uploaded by Son of Groucho.

One of my Internet Obsessions is the website Wordie. I've been interested in the English language since I was at primary school, and Wordie, as the name suggests, is a site for word enthusiasts, or possibly more accurately "word collectors". Wordie describes itself as "Like Flickr, but without the photos." Unfortunately for its creator and owner, I don't think it's going to be the money spinner that Flickr turned out to be for its creators, but the site is gaining more users and more words: it had around 1,700 users when I joined and as of today it has 4,336. My collection of words on the site has just passed 2,500.

The idea of Wordie is that you collect words that, presumably, have some significance for you. These might be words that you love, words that you hate, words that you like the sound of, etc., etc. The beauty of the site is that the user makes the rules. Wordie allows you to mark favourite words, and favourite lists from other people's words. You can also comment on words and lists. It has built in links to dictionary sites, and it's a great way of learning new words. I can't help feeling that more could be done to make the site more interactive, but I suspect the lack of financial success of Wordie limits the amount of time the owner can devote to developing it further. Maybe the sponsorship from the makers of Scrabble will come through one of these days!

"What's the point?" some might ask, but I would argue that collecting words on Wordie is more worthwhile than, for example, the online gaming that others spend hours playing.

We're all different and, fortunately, the Web has a place for every foible!

Teenage affluenza

This is a clever video that gently makes its point.

Is That The Time?

Part of my work is being the medical officer for a rehabilitation ward for the elderly. I've been doing the work for around 12 years, and even over that relatively short space of time there has been a noticeable increase in the average age of the patients admitted. Some of these older patients are remarkably fit: in fact a 91 year old patient that I admitted the other day could easily have passed for 71 years. However, many of them are very unfit, significantly demented, and appear to have a very poor quality of life by most people's standards.

This article about the oldest man in the world, a 111 year old Japanese guy, states that he joked that he is sorry to have lived this long. Maybe he was really kidding, but I'm a great believer in the saying "Many a true word spoken in jest". I've certainly met several very elderly frail patients who have calmly expressed the wish that tomorrow would never come.

With improved social conditions, nutrition and medical care in the developed world increasing longevity is not difficult. The trick is producing a life that is not only longer but also worth living.

The End Is Nigh

I've never been in the habit of buying a newspaper on a regular basis. They seem to me rather doom-laden publications that presumably service the insatiable appetite for schadenfreude. I'd far rather get my news from a combination of radio, television and, of course, the Internet. However, it seems from this article that the prophets of doom have been at work again and they are forecasting the collapse of the Internet.

In the olden days, IE in the early 90s, Internet users were quite happy to exchange a few e-mails. Less than 10 years later picture-rich sites and the arrival of the mp3 file led to increased strain on the Net's infrastructure. Fast forward to the era of YouTube with streaming videos, and some are suggesting that collapse of the whole edifice looms.

As you can see from the article, threats to the system include not only increased use and the resultant increased strain on routers and the parts of the network made from old-fashioned copper. We also should be losing sleep over the possibilities of terrorism and natural disasters such as earthquakes.

Jings, and I thought global warming, mortgage interest rates and bird flu were all I had to keep me awake!

It Shouldn't Happen To A Stick Figure

It's amazing the variety of misfortunes that befall the poor little stick figures in this.

It's one of a series if you're interested.

Maybe not....

Tampering With Nature

Vegetarian Haggis?!?!?! How is this possible?
Originally uploaded by The Rocketeer.

This picture from my good friend The Rocketeer on Flickr illustrates one of my pet hates. I'm not a vegetarian, although I do like some vegetarian dishes. I'm really a bit of a hypocrite, because if I had to kill the animal myself in order to eat it I probably couldn't bring myself to do it. When the meat comes to me nicely packaged on my supermarket shelf I don't have the same problem.

I don't mind other people being vegetarian, but what I do object to are vegetarian dishes that should really be meat dishes, but the meat has been substituted. Quorn sausages and "vegetarian chilli con carne" (sic) fall into this category, but I only found out today that one of Scotland's national dishes has been "vegefied". Vegetarian haggis: what is that all about? If these people really want meat, why don't they have the guts (if you pardon the expression) to admit it?

There! I feel so much better for having got that off my chest!

Still A Political Football

Patricia Hewitt is an idiot in so many ways. My spirits picked up a little when I heard last year that Gordon Brown was said to favour handing over day-to-day control of the NHS to an independent board - in the same way he gave up control of interest rates to the Bank of England in 1997. At last, I thought, I might work for an organisation that is run by people who have some idea what they are talking about instead of suffering the consequences of being run by feeble-minded politicians who have no experience of the NHS, either as managers or, in many cases, as consumers. In my experience, politicians often have poorly thought-through ideas that seem to be based on gaining short-term popularity through headlines in the tabloid press.

According to this article, however, that plan has fallen out of favour. I note Hewitt's comments about the putative benefits of "competitive pressure" within the NHS, but I would like to see the evidence for such benefits especially outwith major cities, IE in places where the local hospital has no effective competitor.

Hewitt is said to back an NHS constitution, which could cover behaviour expected of NHS patients and people's personal responsibility for their own health. This is another area where political rule falls down. It's not exactly a vote-winner to tell people that they should be more responsible in the use of the service.

It seems Hewitt is likely to go when Brown takes over the helm, but it appears that the poor staff of the NHS will continue to work for a "polical football".

What's In A Name?

I was fascinated today to read that Google.org has appointed a new executive director who goes by the name of, would you believe, Dr Brilliant! I hadn't previously heard of Larry Brilliant but, as befits his name, dear Larry is a veritable polymath: "a medical doctor, epidemiologist, technologist, author and philanthropist" according to his Wikipedia entry. I'm not sure I would have wanted to go through life called Mr (or Dr) Brilliant. The name would certainly create certain expectations among one's contemporaries that might prove difficult to meet. However, maybe having a name like that gives one a certain self-confidence that others find elusive?

One of the "chosen ones" in the new UK government under Gordon Brown rejoices in the name Ed Balls. I can't imagine growing up in the West of Scotland with a name like that. I suspect it would have been a pretty painful experience. Having a somewhat provocative name does not seem to have hampered Ed's progress though life. He's certainly a rising star just now. Here we see the nice Mr Balls talking about his efforts to help disabled children.

Sometimes tell-tale names can be a bit more subtle, though. It took us years to notice that Blair was an anagram of "B liar", for example....

Stephen Fry On The Internet

VideoJug: The Internet

This is quite an interesting collection of short video clips giving Stephen Fry's views on the Internet. He certainly seems like an enthusiast. I'm not sure how he comes to be regarded as an expert on the subject, though!

Gordon Ramsay, Superstar

For those unfamiliar with Gordon Ramsay, he is what has come to be known as a "celebrity chef". His gimmick is that he swears a lot (supposedly), and this has produced the title of his television programme "The F Word", which I watched last night. I actually find watching the programme quite stressful because the way it is produced makes cooking in a restaurant look so frenzied that it reminds me of how I imagine warfare to be. Having said that, Ramsay is certainly more entertaining than most of the celebrity chefs, and I suspect, at the end of the day, he is probably quite a good cook.

One of Gordon's endearing features is that he always seems prepared to "have a go" at anything from diving for scallops, shearing sheep, to milking a buffalo----while not quite avoiding a torrent of urine and crap. The buffalo incident occurred in Scotland where Gordon decided to make Scotland's first buffalo mozzarella. I was going to post about the incident that happened on that trip but wasn't televised: namely a collision between Mr Ramsay's four-wheel-drive and that driven by the farmer. However, I then noticed another article.

Apparently, a recent pole in Esquire Magazine voted Gordon Ramsay as the most admired man. Bizarrely, he beat Professor Stephen Hawking into second place! I know Esquire readers are not necessarily representative of the British Public as a whole, but can they really not find someone better to vote for than a cook with a giant ego and a penchant for expletives?

I really worry about where our society is going sometimes....

Bear Necessities

No, it is not April Fool's Day. It's actually true that the US military is developing a robot with a teddy bear-style head to help carry injured soldiers away from the battlefield. Its even got a snappy acronym: Battlefield Extraction Assist Robot IE BEAR (geddit?).

Apparently, the "friendly appearance" of the robot is designed to put the wounded at ease.

I'm sure having these gangly machines wandering about the battlefields of the world will make them altogether much cuddlier places to be!

I Love Paris

I was pleased to hear that Paris Hilton has decided to accept her prison sentence, and is not going to appeal against it again. She is said to "learning and growing" from her ordeal.

Paris says that "Being in jail is by far the hardest thing I have ever done." but that's not saying much is it?

No doubt she's already toting up in her evil little brain how much she can sell the story for.

A Threat We Must Ignore

I note that Abdalla El-Badri, who is the secretary-general of Opec (the oil cartel), has stated that investment in biofuels could push oil prices "through the roof". If that isn't a threat, I don't know what is.

Opec members control about 40% of the world's oil production, and El-Badri warns that moves to use biofuels would make his members consider cutting investment in new oil production.

This sort of rhetoric demonstrates the ridiculous position we have got ourself into with our worrying dependence on fossil fuels. The only way out of this, in the long term, is to expand the use of alternative fuel sources.

We cannot afford to be bullied by international gangsters like this.

Positively Agricultural!

Views from the Empire State Building 3
Originally uploaded by Son of Groucho.

I was fascinated to read in this article about the idea of using the rooftops of New York to grow food. New York Sun Works claim that if hydroponic systems were installed on the city's 14,000 acres of unshaded rooftop, the setup could feed as many as 20 million people in New York City and the surrounding metropolitan area year round!

Apparently New York, unlike some other major cities, ships in practically all its food. The group make the point that growing local produce could cut carbon emissions by reducing the need for trucks to deliver vegetables from long distances.

Just think how different the view from the top of the Empire State Building would be if most of the rooftops were covered with hydroponic greenhouses!

I can't see it happening in my lifetime!

The Turn Of The Screw

I always think that describing somebody as "having a screw loose" is a great way of implying their mental instability. It seems somehow appropriate, therefore, that some strange person has created the Screw Asylum where they can collect "defective screw related data".

The question is "Why?"

Some suggestions are given here, but I suspect the author would reply "Why not?"

On the Theme of Spam

There are several versions of this video on YouTube. I think this one has Portuguese subtitles, confirming the delightful fact that the Portuguese for Spam is, in fact, Spam.

I always thought that Spam was an acronym for "Specially Processed American Meat", but the Wikipedia article on the subject doesn't mention this as a possibility. It appears that the origins of the name are "lost in the mists of time". This gap in our knowledge has led to less-than-kind suggestions like "Something Posing As Meat". It is interesting to see that the two countries with the highest Spam consumption are the UK and South Korea----brothers under the skin, right enough!

It is a sobering fact that this year is Spam's seventieth anniversary. This and other fascinating facts can be found at Spam.com, a rather scarily professional website populated by a group of overenthusiastic spamaholics.

I think I'll go and have a cheese sandwich....

Romance Is Not Dead

It may surprise you to find out that I am a bit of a romantic. However, I'm also a Scotsman and, as you know, romance can be a bit on the expensive side. An elderly patient that I looked after a while ago told me that her husband, when he was alive, used to buy her flowers every week. I made the grave error of mentioning this to Wosog, and she keeps bringing it up from time to time!

Imagine my delight, therefore, when I stumbled across a Zen Habits post entitled "50 Ways to Be Romantic on the Cheap". Zen Habits is a great source of what the geeks call "life hacks", or what you and I call survival tips. This article is no exception. Flowers are mentioned, for example, but they are wild flowers. Many of the other examples cost nothing too----although some are a wee bit time-consuming. I can't really see Wosog and I reading poetry together, but snuggling together on a rainy day sounds easy, and could even lead to savings on heating costs.

Wosog better not take me for granted, though. One of the nurses on the ward where I work said that one of the patients told her I was "a bit of a looker."

Admittedly the patient was 92 years old, but she did have some of her own teeth.

Ian Mckellen gives Ricky Gervais acting advice

I've recently become a major fan of Ricky Gervais. I've bought the complete boxed set of The Office DVDs, and the DVDs of the first series of Extras.

Here we see Ricky getting acting advice from a Master.

Well I thought it was funny....

A Little Education

The internet is a tremendous educational resource. I've stated previously that I though one could find information about anything on the world wide web. A picture, as they say, paints a thousand words and the ability to post easily video clips has greatly enhanced the web's educational potential. My Flickr friend Juliet, in sunny Wales, recently pointed me in direction of this video about how to avoid flashing your knickers when you get out of a car. Personally, I have not put the advice here into practice yet, but if I ever wear a kilt the clip's "relevance quotient" would probably rocket.

The site that the clip above comes from has videos on all sorts of subjects. The other day I came across it's instructional video on "how to kiss someone passionately".

I've brought the video to Wosog's attention, but so far she hasn't taken the hint...

Loch Lomond From Drumkinnon Tower

Loch Lomond From Drumkinnon Tower
Originally uploaded by Son of Groucho.

Sometimes it's good to remind myself what a lovely part of the World I live in!

[Click on the photo to see comments and where this picture was taken from.]

The Joy of Lego

I've previously posted about how much I loved Lego as a child. Isn't it somehow reassuring in these hi tech times that those little brightly coloured bricks can still inspire people to produce highly useful and/or creative projects? Take the Rubber Band Chaingun, for example. This combines a love of Lego with the puerile desire to flick rubber bands at unsuspecting people or, if they are not available, inanimate objects. As the YouTube video demonstrates, this awesome weapon efficiently allows you to unleash wanton destruction, or at least a very nasty weal.

Lego is also useful in the creative field. Apparently, Nathan Sawaya gave up a career as a lawyer to make a living as a Lego artist (one lawyer down, x thousand to go). The video link in the article shows some of his creations and tells the stories behind them. Sawaya recounts how, while other lawyers went to the gym to wind down after work, he would get back to his Lego to rewind. He spends $200,000 per year on his little bricks, so I think he must be doing quite well! It appears that pink Lego is particularly expensive. At the end of the video, he reluctantly admits that being a Lego artist is marginally more fun than being an attorney.

Surely not?

An Electrifying Experience

Thanks to FlyButtafly on Flickr for pointing me in the direction of this video. I've always been terrified of heights, but the idea of flying on the outside of a helicopter to go for a crawl along a high tension cable definitely seems bizarre to me!

I really don't have enough excitement in my life!

Die reinste freude ist die schadenfreude

I am currently reading a book called "Haunted" by Chuck Palhniuk, most famous as the author of "Fight Club", which was made into a successful film. As might be expected, "Haunted" is a slightly odd book made up of a selection of short stories. I came across the title of this post in one of them.

I don't speak German, but I believe the phrase translates roughly as "Our purest joy comes when we view the misfortune of others." Ninjawords translates schadenfreude as "the malicious glee experienced from someone else's misfortune". It is by far the most popular word listed on Wordie (one of my internet obsessions), and forms the basis of much that we think of as humour. Even Dogbert has been known to "get in on the act."

Although I suspect most of them do not analyse it, shadenfreude is the reason why so many people buy their doom-laden newspapers every day. To use the vernacular, "I may have a crap life, but I can read in here about loads of people whose lives are even worse!"

Schadenfreude is an intrinsically lovely word and it carries, or at least used to carry, an air of learning about it. The discussion about the word on Wordie is interesting. Alguien suggests that:

"Due to flagrant overuse, schadenfreude has been depreciated from a twenty-dollar word to a dime a dozen. If only the supply of words could be restricted in the same manner as currency."

But why is the word, or at least the tendency it describes, so popular? It's hardly our most attractive characteristic! Dbmag9 on Wordie puts it very well, in my opinion:

"Schadenfreude seems to be one of the most primal pleasures. Television shows abound are filled with examples: man falls off ladder, child flies off swing, bucket falls onto woman. In one sense it is a valuable learning experience: you are glad you weren't in that position, and make a note not to be in it yourself. But why is it so funny? The only answer I can give is that it expresses the joy you have, build in by millennia of evolutionary conditioning, that you were not the weak one who ended the chain, that, whilst others may fail, you go on to live another day."

Odd creatures, we humans, aren't we?

The Fat of the Land 2

I've referred to the global obesity epidemic before, and living in the UK you only have to look around you to see the growing bulk of your fellow countrymen and women. However, I think this web page illustrates so graphically to what extent the USA and the UK lead the World in this regard. This league table does raise some intriguing questions, however. Why, for example, does Ireland do so much better than the UK? Why does Turkey do so much better then Greece?

The other thing that prompted me to think about obesity was not gazing at the bathroom scales this morning, but reading about this 32 stone man who had to be airlifted from a luxury cruise ship by helicopter recently.

Suddenly I feel quite svelte...

Do You Want An Argument?

I'm working tonight, so I thought I'd give you this video to keep you amused.

I Feel Quite Queasy Already

It may surprise you to find out that I am not much of a thrill-seeker. As a child I was never really a fan of fairground rides. Even going on a fairly sedate Ferris wheel in the Kelvin Hall in Glasgow as a teenager made me feel sick, and the idea of subjecting my body to various unnatural forces at somewhere like Alton Towers fills me with horror.

Bearing this in mind, you will not be surprised to discover that this new attraction at the Kennedy Space Center would definitely not be my "cup of tea". Astronauts are paid (quite well, I suspect) to have their bodies thrown around in this manner. Why anybody would pay the center for the experience of "being in a dragster, peeling out from zero to 100 in three seconds, then keeping your foot to the floor for a full six minutes until you reach 17,500 mph." is quite beyond my ken! According to the Wired article, "Inside the capsule, riders are subject to an onslaught of 13-channel sound, from the roar of the engines to the commander barking instructions. Low-frequency sound vibrates the riders' chests, evoking the feeling of being unable to breathe." Now that's what I don't call entertainment!

But then I am an old fart.

The Problem With Scotland

People often ask Wosog and I why we always go on holidays abroad when we live in such a beautiful country. Today's experience is a perfect example of why we behave in this way, irresponsibly expanding our carbon footprint in the process.

This being Summer (or so we had been led to believe), and having recently joined the National Trust for Scotland, we decided to set out in the car for Culzean Castle in Ayrshire. Wosog had been there before and we knew it was an interesting building set in a country park that had other attractions. The weather was slightly overcast as we left but Wosog, the eternal optimist, was confident that conditions would improve by the time we got to the other side of the River Clyde. In fact the sky got steadily more and more grey as we headed towards our destination, and (surprise! surprise!) the rain was bucketing down as we ate our lunch in a hotel just outside Ayr.

The rain continued all the time we were at the Castle. Unfortunately the National Trust, in its "wisdom", doesn't allow photography inside their buildings. Photographs of the exterior of the building were snatched at odd intervals where shelter allowed. Overall, it was hardly the enjoyable photographic experience that we had planned.

Scotland is a beautiful country, and I'm sure the coastal route to Culzean would have been stunning on a sunny day. The difficulty is that we seem to get so few sunny days----and I always seem to be at work during them. That is a problem, and until it's solved I'll continue to spend my hard-earned holidays in sunnier climes!

For Those Who Remember The Lone Ranger....

This is an interview with a guy called Jay Thomas, who I don't know, but I do remember the Lone Ranger.

It's a funny story.

Why Complain?

Like many British folk, I don't like complaining. On a number of occasions in the past I've been in a restaurant, say, and been served food that was not quite up to par, but I've just eaten it or left it, rather than make a fuss about it. Many Brits don't like to attract attention to themselves in public places, and in restaurants there is always the possibility that your food may return to you having been, let's say, adulterated in some way.

I've been in a few hotel rooms that I wasn't entirely happy with too. Again, I don't remember complaining often: too embarrassing. I much prefer the anonymity of slagging them off on Expedia when I return home.

On the subject of hotel rooms, some people seem to love all the little soaps, bath oils etc. that are commonly found there. I've recently developed hand eczema, so I now have a little collection of bottles of moisturisers from hotels, but apart from this aspect these things don't really register with me. I recently came across this account of a hotel guest's unhappiness with the soap supply in his hotel bedroom. It certainly wouldn't encourage me to start doing any more on-site complaining!

I think the moral of the story is "If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging".

Sky Reflected

Sky Reflected
Originally uploaded by Son of Groucho.

Evening sky reflected in the River Clyde.

[Click on the photo to see comments and where it was taken].

A Loada Balls

Under the headline "Happy eaters of the week" last week's Sunday Times' "This life" section had an article about people attending the ninth annual Testicle Festival in Elderon, Wisconsin. The menu included the relevant parts of goats, lambs and bulls. Apparently the festival founder Nancy Fenske said testicles were "not so different from regular meatballs" and posed the question "What else can you do in a small town?" What else, indeed?

As part of my extensive research for this blog post, I put "testicle festival" into Google (if you pardon the pun). Imagine my surprise at finding 4850 hits detailing, amongst other things, festivals in Montana and Illinois. For those keen to pursue the subject further, here's a search for "testicle recipes".

For some reason writing this post has made me squirm uncomfortably in my seat.

Stand By Your Man

After the successes of the Women's Liberation Movement there are now few activities that are the sole preserve of men. Naively perhaps, one might have considered that peeing standing up was one of them, but no more, it seems.

Enter the Shewee----a brilliantly simple (and cheap) device that "allows women to urinate whilst standing or sitting without removing clothes". Apparently, "For the backpacking woman, there are many times when exposing bare flesh to the conditions can be unpleasant or embarrassing. Also the late night wander can be avoided and peeing into a bottle is now possible - bliss!"

Ah, the Simple Pleasures of Life, indeed!

Greetings!

I recently came across this site, which I think is absolutely hilarious. It allows you to send electronic greetings cards (eCards). "Nothing new in that!" you say, but many of these particular cards have a sting in their tail. One of my favourites is "Congratulations on not getting me pregnant." Another gem is "Get well soon so that I find you attractive again."

Which veiled insult do you think is the best?

Diminished Responsibility

Diminished Responsibility
Originally uploaded by Son of Groucho.

I have worked as a Police Surgeon for many years. Most of the time the work involves seeing prisoners, usually drug addicts, in the cells, but we also have to see patients who have died unexpectedly, partly to see if there are any suspicious circumstances to the death.

In the early hours of 15th June last year I was asked to visit an address in Dumbarton. An emergency call had been made for an ambulance. The initial gist of the panicked phone call was that an elderly lady had collapsed in her home, but when the crew arrived to find the lady lying dead in her bedroom surrounded by blood with a large hole in her neck they surmised that something might be amiss.

I’ve been to a number of crime scenes over the years, but this was probably the bloodiest. Details of the subsequent court case can be found by clicking on the picture, but the outcome was that the poor woman had been stabbed while she slept by her grandson, who was only 15 years old at the time.

We will probably never know exactly what went on in that house but, on the surface of it, McAlpine stabbed his grandmother after she threatened to “wash her hands of him” if his behaviour didn’t improve! You really wonder what provocation would drive a 15 year old into such a rage that he would stab an elderly woman 23 times.

On the way home in the car this evening I heard how a teenager had been killed in Blackpool by a single stab wound to the chest. We clearly have to convince our young people that carrying knives can lead to tragedy---for all age groups.

Back from the grave---again!

I've decided to revive The Voice of Reason. It's the fault of my brother in law, Bilosog. I met him in a shop in Glasgow at the weekend and he berated me for not blogging. He's retired, the lucky bugger, while I am still dragging myself out of bed every day to earn an honest shilling or two. I should be telling him to take up blogging since he's got plenty of time to do it!

I'm not sure what has made me "take up the cudgel" again. Many (both?) of you probably think it's a false dawn, and that I won't keep it up---well, we'll see! Anyway, I've decided to change to Blogger's new, improved system and appear to have lost many of my page elements (including all the old comments) in the process! Please bear with me while I try and find at least some of them. I've got a funny feeling that the old comments are gone for ever, though, since I'm probably just going to use Blogger's commenting set up.

Anyway, there we have it: the new, improved (well, eventually) Voice of Reason: God bless Her and He who rants in her!

Merry Christmas

Our Christmas Card
Originally uploaded by Son of Groucho.

Couldn't go a whole month without posting anything, so here it is. Hope that anyone reading this has a Great Christmas.

Hope Santa brought you all you wished for......

The Increasing Prevalence Of Multiple Diplomatosis

When Wosog and I both went to university (when dinosaurs roamed the Earth) only a small proportion of school pupils were expected to go onto Higher Education (around 10-15 %, I think). Now it seems that the job market of hi tech 21st Century UK plc requires a much higher proportion of the population to have a degree. I believe the current figure is over 40%, but The Powers That Be (in their infinite wisdom) would like it to be nearer 50%. Political correctness discourages the notion that many of today's degrees don't carry quite the same weight as degrees obtained in our day, but I suggest that the content of many of these courses, and the resultant poor job prospects conferred by their degrees leaves a lot to be desired. Meanwhile, the country is crying out for skilled tradesmen who can still, by some miracle, manage to perform some really quite complex tasks without, at present, having to have a degree.

The mindless expansion of Higher Education has created enormous financial difficulties for the universities, producing the ludicrous situation where students are to be asked to pay bigger and bigger fees to gain a degree that is essentially worthless when it comes to finding a job. Students who are being asked to pay these fees are now becoming more demanding. I heard on the radio yesterday that students of history at, I think, Bristol University are protesting about a lack of lecture time! The lecturers are being encouraged to do more research, since that brings money into the university. Meanwhile, the students are being told to do more work on their own, particularly online. Some of them are making the point that they could easily do that off their own bat, without paying hefty fees to the university!

The University of Bums on Seats seems to me to sit perfectly (pardon the pun) with the ethos of modern British Higher Education. It really sounds as if one could progress effortlessly through the courses there and leave brandishing a substantial piece of paper to wave under the nose of a prospective employer. In fact, Wosog awarded herself a PhD in counseling the other night. I have to call her Dr Wosog from now on. Their Fasttrack E-degrees sound like just the ticket for the disgruntled history students of Bristol.

The worrying thing is it could almost be real, or am I just being a bit cynical?

Peeved

I'm on holiday for the next 4 days (did you know that, Wosog?) so I've got loads of time to blog (you lucky people, you). However, I've had a bad start to the day. I've just discovered that, despite volunteering, I'm not going to be included in the Men of Flickr Calendar this year!

This is a picture of the chosen twelve. Now, I ask you, are any of them as handsome as I am? Personally, I think there is a clearly shown bias against men with bushy eyebrows and mustaches here that is totally unacceptable in our modern world. Anyway, I'll get over it.

Gnome Alert

As the proud possessor of 3 garden gnomes, and the founder member of the thriving Flickr Group "Home for Gnomes", I was disturbed to read in the Sunday Times today, as well as the USA Today website, of the snatching of almost 80 of the little chaps in France. Apparently they were "freed" by gnome rights activists known as The Front for the Liberation of Garden Gnomes.

These French fanatics, rather like Al Queda, having tentacles spreading throughout the Globe. I am thinking of installing cc tv cameras in our back garden.

I ask you, is nothing sacred these days?

Now That's What I Call Art 2

A Few Paintings We Brought Home 5
Originally uploaded by Son of Groucho.

Further to my previous rant about the deficiencies of modern art, I was fascinated to read yesterday that a 4' by 8' board covered with dripped-on paint by Jackson Pollock, and imaginatively titled No 5, 1948, had sold for a world record $140 million (£73.35 million). It's not the worst piece of modern art I've seen, but I won't be saving up to try and prise it from it's current owner in a few years time.

The article in the Independent newspaper did, however, also inform me that this picture by Van Gogh, that I photographed in the Musee d'Orsay changed hands in 1990 for $82.5 million (£47.1 million). Who knows what it would fetch now? It's interesting to speculate on the monetary value of the total contents of that museum....

Where Have All The Heroes Gone?

Where Have All The Heroes Gone?
Originally uploaded by Son of Groucho.

One of the places we visited in our recent wee trip to Paris was the Hotel des Invalides. This amazing building was constructed by Louis XIV in the 1670s as a residential village for up to 4000 invalides (disabled veterans) who were begging in the streets of Paris. The courtyard is now used for military parades. Behind the four-storey classical facade is the Dome Church (Eglise du Dome). Les Invalides was built between 1677 and 1735: the dome took 27 years to build.

The Eglise du Dome now houses the Tomb of Napoleon. His remains are encased in 5 coffins and a sarcophagus of red porphyry. The church also contains the tomb of Ferdinand Foch (see above), and the rather beautiful tomb of Hubert Lyautey. I had never heard of the latter, but I like his tomb, and I'd quite like mine to be similar (Wosog please note).

My point is this: can you think of a single modern politician, or military leader, in the world today that would be so revered by their public that the latter would support a memorial of this magnitude? I can't. Maybe this is just a cynical age, and we all look too readily for less-than-altruistic motivation behind the actions of our leaders? Maybe it will take a truly global conflict (God forbid) to bring forward men of true stature? I don't know, but I do know for certain that there would be a huge public outcry in the UK if it was proposed that any of our current so-called leaders, or indeed former prime ministers, be immortalised in this way.

Where have all the heroes gone?

Now That's What I Call Art!

On the first day of our recent visit to Paris we revisited the Musee d'Orsay. This is housed in an old railway station that is itself a work of art. It's amazing to think that the authorities were at one time thinking of demolishing it to make way for a giant hotel. On the lower levels of the museum there are some amazing examples of sculpture while the upper levels contain the impressionist and postimpressionist paintings that Wosog and I really like. Wouldn't it have been nice to bring home a little Manet, Degas, Toulouse-Lautrec, a Renoir or a Van Gogh? Unfortunately, security arrangements at the museum meant that all we could take were photographs, but a guy can dream, can't he?

To me, this is real art: in total contrast with the pathetic modern "sculptures" etc we saw at the Guggenheim Museum in New York in April. These and other examples of modern art, such as those we struggled not to giggle at at the Modern Art Museum in Barcelona, to me have no more artistic validity than paintings made out of toast and marmite.

But then, I am a Philistine....

Back From The Dead

Wosog's Little Friend
Originally uploaded by Son of Groucho.

I'm not a very disciplined individual. I find it difficult to concentrate on one subject for long. Bearing that in mind, it is probably surprising that I have managed to keep blogging for 2 years. Recently I've had pretty severe "blogger's block". There is also the small matter of "real life getting in the way". Once you get out of the habit of posting, it's really quite difficult to get back into it again, but I'm going to make a concerted effort to do so.

As a start, I present this intriguing picture of The Bold Wosog confronting a plucky little ghost in the Catacombes de Paris recently. What happened next was reminiscent of a episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Wosog may be small, but she's not phased by a bit of ectoplasm.

There will be more of our Paris trip, including visiting the dead, both above and below ground, in future exciting episodes of The Voice of Reason.