Tagged!

I've been tagged by Shooting Parrots. Here are the instructions:

What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you). Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

If I could be a scientist... I'd discover the cure for cancer, then be unbearably smug for the rest of my life.

If I could be a farmer... I'd sing "I've got a brand new combine harvester" day and night and drive my family demented!

If I could be a musician...

If I could be a doctor...

If I could be a painter...

If I could be a gardener... I'd maybe have a lawn that's 90% grass instead of 90% moss!

If I could be a missionary...

If I could be a chef...

If I could be an architect...

If I could be a linguist... I'd be ever so cunning!

If I could be a psychologist... I'd find out what makes Gsog tick, and set about "reprogramming" him!

If I could be an athlete...

If I could be a lawyer...

If I could be an innkeeper...

If I could be a professor...

If I could be a writer...

If I could be a backup dancer...

If I could be a llama-rider...

If I could be a bonnie pirate... I'd make Orlando Bloom and Jonny Depp look positively ugly!

If I could be a midget stripper...

If I could be a proctologist... I'd start at the bottom and work my way up!

If I could be a TV-Chat Show host...

If I could be an actor...

If I could be a judge...

If I could be a Jedi...

If I could be a mob boss...

If I could be a backup singer...

If I could be a CEO...

If I could be a movie reviewer...

If I could be a monkeys uncle...

If I could be a CSI...

If I could be a computer nerd...

If I could be a Kindergarten teacher... I'd probably strangle the little buggers to prevent them developing into teenagers!

That's me done. Now I'm tagging Alfie, Roger and Birdman...